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Snomobiling the Saxon Harbor Shoreline
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| Stephen and his Pantera Arctic Cat Snomobile |
- Snomobiling upper Wisconsin to Saxon Harbor, Michigan
- March 2002
- 630 total miles
- 10-20 degrees Farenheit, partly sunny
- 3 riders: Layne, Mike, Stephen
I nailed the throttle and took off in fast
pursuit of Mike and Layne who were also speeding away
from the scene of the crime at about 70 mph.
In February of 2002 my good friend Mike Carr invited me to join him and a friend for a five-day snomobile expedition
to explore Wisconsin's snowbound shoreline on Lake Superior just below its border with Michigan's Ottowa National Forest.
We had talked about doing this for the past two or three seasons so I was delighted when the opportunity finally presented
itself.
The tale is best told through Mike's article on the trip which was featured in Illinios Snomobiler magazine the following year, and through my brief journal which I updated every night. However, one particular incident deserves elaboration. On our fourth day on the snow, we ran
into a checkpoint where the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources forced travelers to stop and produce their state
papers to show that they had purchased the government's permission to recreate in such a manner.
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| Layne and Stephen - suspects at large running from the law |
Being rather old school, I have always felt that public servants are to follow orders not originate them. I am not from
Wisconsin, I did not own the snomobile on which I was riding, and I have very little patience for miniature, self-proclaimed gods
who imagine themselves a public authority while producing nothing and living off the income earned by others. So as we
approached the government roadblock, I was in no real mood for conversation.
Mike and our companion, Layne, had already paid off state officials and received government permission to operate their
snomobiles. But since Mike lent his regular sled to me, his papers were not yet affixed to the back-up sled on which he was
riding. So in the confusion of sleds and humanity at the checkpoint, they quickly sped through without stopping to pay homage
to the edicts of the Department of Natural Resources. After all, they had already purchased all the necessary papers and didn't
want to bother explaining why they weren't yet affixed to their sleds, and then endure the inevitable hassles and interrogations
that invariably accompany interaction with all things bureaucratic.
Layne was leading, Mike was second and I was riding last. Layne and Mike successfully zipped through the governmental
gauntlet unscathed, but I was caught by a female DNR officer whose acute unfriendliness and incompetence have apparently
made her unfit for employment by anything other than a government agency. She demanded to know if I was riding with
the two people who had dared to defy their god-like status by riding through their roadblock without showing state papers.
Since speaking to state agents is rarely a productive enterprise, I avoided the question. Her Esteemed Loftiness then
ordered me to "catch up to those two and bring them back here to me. And when you get here, I want to see your driver's license.
Have it ready." Fortunately she had no further justification to attack me since my sled - Mike's regular mount - already
had state papers affixed to it in compliance with state threats.
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| Stephen (L) and Mike return to the scene of the crime; pose for "arrest" |
I told her that I couldn't chase them down... if she wanted to apprehend the the aforementioned threats to humanity
that the DNR would have to do it themselves. Stunned at my failure to recognize her absolute supremacy, she made the mistake
of hesitating. With a look of momentary stupification lingering on her surly face, I nailed the throttle and took off in fast
pursuit of Mike and Layne who also happened to be speeding away from the scene of the crime at about 70 mph. After putting
several miles between ourselves and the annoying nags whose existence our society for some inexplicable reason chooses
to tolerate, we rode back past the now-abandoned checkpoint and posed for some rather funny photos of our imaginary arrests
by the Snomobile Nazis.
Since this was our only interaction with the DNR, and since the enjoyment of a given pursuit is inversely proportional
to the sum of government red tape necessary to its execution, we had a wonderful time enjoying the snow, the beauty of America's
northern forests, and good company.
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| Real fun... blasting through fresh powder at 50 mph with no DNR agents around |
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